See what happens when we bring compassion and action to resistance
When did you last get stuck while moving towards a goal?
Last October, I was at a decision point. I had a vision for what I wanted The Ross Collective to be – a consulting firm focused on bringing justice into the world and making #GoodTrouble. But I needed to commit to sharing my ideas and learning more consistently.
I started this blog at the beginning of 2018 by writing to a small group of close contacts. For a few years, I struggled to write consistently. I posted once a month or less. I had a lot of excuses about why I couldn’t write on a consistent schedule: I am busy, I have client work, I am a working parent…the list goes on.
A little over a year ago, The Ross Collective hit a disappointing time. We tried to launch a course on racial equity and board governance, but the course didn’t get enough participants to run at that time. I was upset and confused about the future of The Ross Collective.
After experiencing what I perceived to be a failure, I took stock. I decided that I needed to get some new ideas and perspectives about how to be successful as a consultant. Not sure how to get to where I wanted to go, I found a coach.
I found the amazing Tara McMullin, the founder of What Works, a network of small business owners. After reviewing my blog, Tara’s feedback was that my writing was strong and that what I was sharing would be helpful to nonprofit leaders. She recommended that, to gather a larger community, enough to launch a course successfully, I needed to post more frequently and consistently – every week or every other week.
When I heard this, my stomach sank. Some part of me was kicking and screaming, “No, I can’t do that!” And another part of me thought about my own why, what was at stake. I wanted to have more opportunities to do my work. But I had to do a better job of getting the word out.
I had a choice: write more and see my work grow in impact and influence. Or keep doing what I was doing, and possibly watch The Ross Collective wither and die.
That might sound dramatic. But what I was doing up to that point wasn’t working. I had to try something different.
In November, 2020, I made the commitment to writing consistently. After some experimentation, I settled into posting every other week.
Incredible things have emerged from this consistency! Maybe for the first time in my life, I honor and make space for my own insights and creativity. I now block out a lot of time on my calendar for writing and creative time.
Understand that this was/is NOT easy – I know that many of you do understand, because you have asked me how I write so much and told me about your struggles with writing or that writing isn’t something you enjoy, even though you wish you did.
One answer is that I’m determined. I was at a fork in the road. Without consistency in one of the things I could do to get the word out about my work, I wasn’t going to hit my goals and, in the starkest terms, my business was not going to survive.
Behind the scenes, I continue working on my writing system – which is called “content creation.” My goal is to have more posts in my queue, so I can cross-post more frequently and share my writing more on other blogs.
Since the beginning of 2021, The Ross Collective has taken off! We’ve received many inquiries for strategic planning, training, and board governance work. We’re partnering with Christal Cherry and Ian Johnson on processes focused on equity and have a small team behind the scenes supporting us with editing (thank you Justin!), illustration (props to the amazing Yellow Pants Studio), and website design (thank you, Wild Awake Creative!).
In addition to posting every other week, I made the goal to speak monthly – on Inclusive Strategic Planning, Designing and Leading Inclusive Meetings, or Board Governance – and will hit this goal in 2021. Speaking has been another way to share learning and build community, leading to many exciting connections and opportunities.
This post marks the creation of 50 blog posts! If you are reading this – and you may have started reading this week or been with us since the beginning – I want to express my gratitude and thank you for taking a few minutes out of your day to read along. It is gratifying to hear from readers and get your responses to these posts.
Long-time or first-time readers, please know that I earnestly want a personal connection with you all. There are now many people on this list that I have yet to meet, which is quite the honor! I hope to soon have the opportunity to learn more about your work and challenges as I am naturally curious about people from many different backgrounds. I am energized to hear about your stories, struggles, and successes. Please, don’t be shy! Reach out and let’s chat.
Sometimes people ask me whether I’m afraid of running out of ideas. I don’t have that problem! One thing I learned from taking the CliftonStrengths Assessment earlier this year is that I’m an Ideator – it feels natural for me to generate many ideas. This is useful when I’m doing agenda design with a client: if participants don’t think that Plan A will be the right activity for the group, Plans B and C pop into my head within a minute or two. In terms of writing posts for this blog, I have at least ten ideas in my mind or on a list somewhere that I could write about. Almost every day, I’ll have a conversation with someone in which a question comes up that would lead to a post. My challenge continues to be to have the discipline to get these ideas out of my head and on to the page with other conflicting demands.
I write to process my own intense feelings about the situations I encounter, to speak the deepest truth that I see about racial injustice and equity, to get your thoughts and reactions and with the goal of giving each of us hope in the ongoing challenges.
The posts that resonated the most with readers and got the furthest reach have been about racial equity, inclusion, belonging, empathy, and compassion. I have a lot more to share on these topics – to document the challenges and processes of change that I’m seeing in my consulting and training work. I look forward to sharing these posts with you.
I know this is one of my lengthier posts, but also hope to help you get ‘unstuck’ when you face it. First, from my personal experience, I found a coach, but you might find a mentor. They are equally important in encountering a sounding board from someone with similar experiences. Through that process, it forced me to, second, introspectively review my successes and struggles. Third, I had to confront a point of resistance and find a way through it by changing my priorities and schedule to accommodate a necessary element to success for me and my firm. That led me to, fourth, establishing a manageable system that works with a growing workload. Fifth, I cobbled together my team, who help me to stay on top of it all because, ultimately, I can’t do it all myself. Through it all, I stayed grateful, which is the sixth point – being grateful and showing gratitude to the people who help you gain success multiplies that success.
We each hit resistance in small or large changes we’re trying to make. I have seen resistance in every client I’ve worked with. Resistance contains a lot of energy. What works best with resistance is to see it and name it: Where are we feeling resistant? And then to think about: In the face of that resistance, how can we bring compassion as well as an understanding of the choices we do have?
Try this:
Think about a situation in which you’re hitting resistance.
How is this resistance showing up?
What are some different choices that you have?
For more on this topic, you might enjoy:
A powerful process to unlock your board’s energy
What blocks us – as people and organizations?