The Joyful Experience of Finding Your People
How are you?
We’re returning from a week off the grid (a much calmer place to be in these times) at Family Performing Arts Camp. The opportunity to unplug and be away from it all for a little while helps to rest and recharge.
As I step back into the day-to-day, I am also thinking about the points of my career that were the most poignant.
Resolve at the lowest point in my career
If I were to reflect on the low point of my career, it was the day many years ago when I was fired from what I thought was my dream job (hint: it wasn’t).
I was so ashamed of being fired from a job. I felt nauseous. I had difficulty eating and sleeping. I felt worthless. I didn’t know how I would move forward.
But as I processed what felt like a complete failure, I resolved to take action: I would talk to 100 people.
I scheduled meetings with former colleagues, contacts from my recent job, and mentors and connections from past positions. I asked each for 20 minutes of their time. Some had more time and met for lunch or coffee. I used each conversation to learn more about current work and what was on their mind. I ended every conversation asking each person for two more people that I could speak with.
The power of nonprofit networking
I can’t remember whether I hit my goal of 100 conversations - I know that I got close. And I started to feel more hopeful. I became energized by the possibilities for my next chapter. These colleagues and contacts were encouraging. Coming off of what felt like a failure, I had lost faith in my own abilities and talents. But they reflected back more confidence in me than I felt in myself.
The seeds of The Ross Collective come from that period. I hadn’t considered becoming a consultant. But in one of those meetings, a successful consultant told me that she believed I had valuable expertise, and that I should just “hang out my shingle” and see what happened. Not too long after that, I took her advice, and The Ross Collective was born.
And to be honest: the conversations varied in quality and connection. I didn’t connect with everyone I spoke with. That is part of the experience of “finding” your people – the subject of this post. The only way to find your people is to go out and look for them, and notice that not everyone is “your people.” That’s okay and normal.
ID: Three people -pink, blue and orange- on a dark green background— with light green networking lines going out of the people
How referrals support our work
From that beginning, the terrific people in our network started sending us business. A networking conversation a few years later – where I connected with someone who was making her own career change – led to a referral to run our first board retreat. An East Coast contact from the Alliance for Nonprofit Management sent us a client in California who had reached out to him. Another local colleague referred us to our first strategic planning client.
Potential clients still reach out through referrals (as recently as yesterday) -- we even get referrals from contacts we have not met who have learned about our work through our writing or training! I have a tremendous feeling of gratitude for each one and never take these for granted – each feels like a windfall.
The importance of giving in networking
At the beginning, I didn’t feel like I had a lot to give to my network. Over time, as we’ve expanded our work and expertise, we consciously work to bolster and amplify others. At the end of networking conversations, I’ll ask, “How can I help you?”
As we’ve mentioned before, one of our key rules is that “Collaboration and leadership should feel good and energizing.” We are energized by others and continuously look to get to know new people for possible collaboration.
More concretely, I draw on two networking systems – Pam Slim’s Tiny Marketing Actions and Michelle Warner’s Networking that Pays. Each of these systems focuses on taking small, consistent daily networking actions and tracking those actions in order to build a networking habit.
I know that I cannot “control” whether a colleague sends a referral. But I can be mindful about taking consistent networking actions, which have led to many new opportunities.
On networking and equity
It’s important to say that opportunities to tap into networks are inequitably distributed. As a white middle-class woman, I have more privilege in terms of the networks I have access to. When possible, I open up my calendar to people of different racial and class backgrounds who are working to climb the ladder of economic mobility. I use LinkedIn especially to connect with a rainbow of colleagues from around the country -- and to amplify and signal boost people and projects working on equity and justice.
Four practices for success: strengths, people, experiments and systems
Organizations may find their paths to success in different ways, however I have found these four elements to be critically important. Which is why we’re writing this series, which explores four components of building a successful nonprofit organization or consulting firm:
Our first post discussed identifying your strengths and the value you bring into the world.
This post is about finding your people.
Our last two posts will be about conducting tiny experiments and creating excellent systems.
In a recent poll about which of these practices is most critical to creating success, the majority of respondents said, “finding your people.”
What do you think? How has your network supported your work?
When utilized, a network and community can be a support and a springboard. We explore this in strategic planning, since a strong network is a valuable asset for nonprofit fundraising, governance, advocacy, and learning. Want to learn more? Reach out, we’d be happy to discuss.